Saturday, April 16, 2011

Serious Guy Style

This an omel. Not an omlette.

Sautee a bunch of onions and peppers (they come in bags, right?). Add a couple of potatoes. do it all in a mess of bacon fat. Add some of that bacon. When it's all nice and cooked, add the eggs. Mine has ten eggs, with a buttload of cheddar and parm, 'cause those are the ones I had on hand.

Here's the fun part. Sweep the top with a propane torch. You.ve got to congeal that top surface of the egg mixture..

Wow! That inch-thick layer of stuff is now like, dude, three, four inches thick! Yeah, that's the point. You can finish it in the oven at a high heat, or just turn it. I flip the motherfucker like the dudes on the Cooking Channel, but I'm older than you and I've had years of experience. My SIL (who comes from a French restaurant family, in France) prefers to put a plate on top of the skillet, invert the whole assembly, and then slide the less-cooked side down in the skillet. Works for me, too.

The great thing about this is that the only ingredient that you really have to keep is the eggs. Tomatoes? Groovey. Peas and carrots? No problem. Spam, spam, spam. baked beans and spam? Do It!

The other great factor is that it doesn't have to be hot and fresh. A slice of cold omlette is a wonderful lunch. A nice wedge of cold potato omlette, with a handful of good Kalamata olives, a decent bolillo, and a bit of cheese is a standard lunch throughout the OliveOil belt. Your boss might get pissed if you insist on the bottle of red wine that usually accompanies this lunch, but the sonofabitch probably would have issues with the mandated siesta, too. Nyikulturniey. Ketchup is allowed. Sriracha is encouraged.

Break it down: really, what's the point? When I worked in cubicle land, I was constantly being invited to head out to lunch. Doods refused to believe that I brought my own lunch. They all thought I had some special deal with a catering company. Until I catered a lunch for 20 using only the heating element of the coffee machine, the microwave, and the contents from my truck's tool box. And I kept and displayed the receipts. Charged 'em each a buck in front, and then gave change. Ha!

Now, cooking on the job,. that's a different post.

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