Friday, April 29, 2011

You get what you pay for

That's kind of a stream on my spleenventing site , but sometimes teh cheapness works. Went to Easter Sunday Mass with the Boiz, wearing my favorite seersucker suit. Cost me $3.00 at the resale, along with the twn Tony Lama boots, (also about $3.00, same resale). Had at least a dozen women sak me about the suit, and 4 or 5 guys ask me where I had it made.

Me, I'm lucky. I can buy off the rack pretty much. (Note to self: Stop buying Ice Cream "cause the boiz may drop by and need some"), provided the rack is big enough. I take a 48 reg, with the trousers taken in. I'm just a bit skinnier than the late husbands of the widows who empty the closets on the demise of their dear husbands (sniff). Thank God for portly dead guys, sez me.

Here's something you probsbly didn't know. All those male models, with the buff bods and the oiled 6packs? 38 regular. They're serious bodycon midgets. Look at them! They're always shorter than the female models. The chick models are cast for height adn depth of cleavage. Women's sizes make no sense at all - your darling dumpling Aunt may wear the same size as one of hte runway Amazons, but for some reason it doesn't look the same on her.

But for guys it's the 38 regular (not even a .38 special) that gets he jobs. It may explain some (but not all) of the cocaine use. It's just to delay any growth spurts.

btw, guys. Know your girl's sizes. And wander through the chick sections of the resale shops. Feel free to grab women and ask their opinions. Find one of the same relative dimensions of your desiderata, and ask if it might fit. Seriously.

Most women are flattered by the attention ("hmm, looks kinda like me...and will become WILLING CO-CONSPIRITORS. You know what they're thinking? It's not "this guy's a perv". They're thinking "Oh sweet Jesus if only MY boyfriend cared this much".

This technique also works when buying clothes for one's self ,but the perversity of the double ex folks may rise to the top. Ask at lest 2 women if that plaid sports coat makes you look stupid."

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