Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Y Chromosome Alert

Hardware. You don't need nearly as much as you thought. Personally, I'm living off of a two burner hotplate, a crockpot, an old microwave, and a panini press.

Yeah, they're all electric. When I moved into this apartment I really didn't want to have to dick with getting the gas on. The meter had been pulled, and the landlord had made it clear that any deals with the utilities were on my own dime. So I decided not to spend the three to five hundred dollars to upgrade his plumbing.

So I've got a microwave. a two burner hotplate, and a crockpot. Plus the impedimentia that goes with once having a real kitchen: pots, pans, lids, this, and, that, and the other.

What I really needed was a set of skillets, two saucepans, and a pasta cooker., A wise woman (Julia Child) once said "don't be a pot miser, but wash every one when you're finished with it". Hey, she worked for the British Secret Service, while being from fucking RHODE ISLAND and having some sort of speech impediment, on top of being six feet tall. Her husband was a very brave man. And I wash each cooking implement as it is used. Don't want Julia Child pissed off at ME, no sir.

Ok, I do have a thing for tall women. I also have a thing for short women. And redheads. And blondes. and brunettes

So let's look at a recipe.

Shrimp Something

Cook Pasta or Rice (I always do rice with some peas, carrots, celery, corn, onion, peppers, and other stuff. But not at the same time) ((I like to us the 'yellow rice, 'cause I can't afford to buy saffron myself. If I could, I'd just as soon but gold bullion)(Which makes a really nasty soup stock, if you ask me).
Cook some bacon
Pull the bacon from the grese and chop it up
Toss a in bunch of dry clean seafood (Scallops! I fucking love scallops! But they have to be dry, dry, dry to get seared. Otherwise they just get steamed, which is no good at all).

Let them cook until they start jumping around a bit when you move the skillet, then add 'other stuff'.

I suggest adding (for nekkid scallop) equal amounts of good cream sherry and good cream cream, with a touch of perhaps rosemary if you can get it fresh from you neighbor's yard, or some curry if that's a you've got.

For shrimp. I like to use a dose if Sriracha followed by crushed tomatoes (not sauce, not paste).

Feel free at any point to add additional onions, peppers, &c.

Great for Lent, great at any time

Total time opening fridge to wiping mouth: 25 min.
So where do you want to go for dinner: Total time two hours

[ook, I didn't say"start cooking rice/pasta at the samw time as other stuff:"
Jeebus, you stoopid of something

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